So, this is what I call my mid-life-crisis that happens every few years related to playing guitar. When I was young, many of my friends were musicians. We all had dreams of “making it” in the biz. That group was eventually refined further by people that eventually ended up in bands which is a way of taking things a bit more serious. But “life” usually starts creeping in. Musicians started to get married. Some had kids. Some focused on school and career. Mortgage payments, diapers and daily commutes started to interfere with the dreams of being a *pro* musician.
Pretty soon, you blink and you’re in your 40s/50s/60s and finding peers that still play, becomes much harder. Out of your friends, you’ve realized many of the friends stopped playing years ago.
For me, personally, I’m lucky because I still have a good grip of friends that still play in bands. I really think it’s because of the community and scene that is here that encourages that. I’ve gone in big phases of being extremely active and playing in multiple bands, to points of being holed up in the basement and playing scales because I had nothing else going on.
There are times – and this is where I’m going to go into my mid-life-crisis – where you start to take things for granted. As a musician and a band member, there are those nights where you work so hard to prep for a performance. Many hours of rehearsal. Travel time. Taking time off from work and family. Hauling gear there and back, etc. You step on that stage to play the set, and hardly anyone is there. In your head, you convince yourself, it’s not about the crowd size. You’re there to rock for 1 person or a full crowd. But then that little voice starts creeping into your brain. Why are you doing this? Is this really worth all the BS? It starts to wear you down – and you hope for that great show to turn your attitude around.
For me, when I was in the basement just mashing out scales – I would think I would do anything to be in a band again. I would say to myself, I wish I could just play with others. Hell, I would be stoked to just practice once-a-month and NEVER even play out.
When I start to feel whiny about why I play, I have to think about those days. Remind myself, that I do like to play. That it is worth it. Why do I keep playing guitar? Because it’s who I am, not what I do.
Do you guys know what I’m talking about? Let me know how you overcome these feelings. I think many of us go through this. Let’s have a therapy session…. in the comments!
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7 years ago
I get you 110% bro. I make really good bank at my day job. I also hate my day job. If I could make decent money doing anything music related, even if it just was writing about music or having a “custom cable†biz on the side (I know, pretty lame sounding but I’m desperate…just kidding Hank, lol), I’d be more satisfied with how I spend my finite amount of time. See, one can always make more money, but time, once it’s spent cannot be redeemed.
I love music. I love writing, performing and recording music. I also love tinkering with, modding, repairing, designing and building music gear. See, somewhere in there is my post-profession “retirementâ€. I never took the limelighted stage superstar dream a realistic possibility for me. That may happen to me on a limited sense as Life has often dropped something on my doorstep that was desired but nevertheless unexpected.
More likely, one of my ideas for a piece of gear that’s almost universally desired but at a price point that most can afford is what I’m hoping will be my goose laid, Golden egg. All I’ll say is that it is for anything that has strings on it. So I play Guitar, Bass, Mandolin, Banjo, Ukulele, dulcimer and that gets me gigs and an occasional studio session call.
Yet I see my best role as one of support for the folks that are writing and touring and making a decent living. Still, I have to play those strings. That’s the connection between my planned future and what I do with 40 hours out of every week to keep a roof over my head and food on the table, plus what buys me the tools I need, the bits of this and that, metal, plastic, ceramic, wood, silicon and such that my dream shall be founded upon.
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7 years ago
I kinda did things backward. I’ve had a love for guitar and music in general since I was born, I guess, or at least as long as I can remember. Momma bought me a guitar when I was about 8-9 and payed a dude (who looked like Rod Steward, not him though) to give me lessons. About 3 weeks in he took the money and ran. So much for that. At 12 I took up trumpet in the school band, quickly rising to 1st chair and holding that position for 2 years. Then it happened, I got bored and quit practicing and down the chairs I went to about 6th (I think there was 10 of us so a few worse than me). I quit playing after that year, 9th grade. FFWD>> about 33 years (yeah, a long time) and the bug or fever or whatever got to me and on Fathers Day, feeling down (because I have no living father and no kids, depressing day for me), I went to the local GC and bought myself a bass, amp and all the trimmings. 4 weeks later I’m playing in the band at or church. A year and half later half the band quit (not my fault, haha) and a family started playing our music, of which one of them is a ex drummer and fantastic bassist. So I have him my spot and bought me a hollowbody 6 string that I now play lead in the band. I have one big regret in all of this, that I haven’t been playing for the past 40 years. I’ll be 50 next bd and I think after all those years I’ve found the live of my life.
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7 years ago
I believe if someone looks hard enough and long enough they will find fellow musicians to play with. My thing is a bit different in that I’ve remained playing professionally since I was 15 years old, even when I was deep in the corporate grind, with young kids and mortgage and all that. There were breaks here and there but someone(s) always seem to give me the nod to fill the seat, so to speak. Outside of a handful of folkish type originals, it was only in the ’80s when I was writing and performing original material with a full band. Over the last 30 years my writing chops have improved and I have a fair amount of material, but no real situation to refine, rehearse and perform it with bandmates. There is only so much satisfaction from making digital demos at home. I want to rock this stuff with fellow voyagers. I’ll just have to believe in my first statement and turn the heat up on my searching.
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7 years ago
The itch to play out. To want to hear your tube amps louder than room-practice volume. To give everyone a listen of that new riff/sound/effect that you’ve worked on. It’s always there. But playing/practicing guitar is the true love. My best guitar moments seem to always show up when I’m playing along with my favorite music alone in my practice area.
The only way I’ve found to escape the doldrums of playing the small audiences was to work out an arrangement with a historically packed venue and only play their bigger nights. It’s a formula that has worked, and has actually provided better cash for fewer gigs. Much of the time the people are just there to party and it would have been packed regardless, but now you have their attention and the opportunity to grab the crowd, get something going, and make new fans.
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